Dysfunctional Bunnygirl

Twenty years of isolation

Makes a good basis for a dozen albums

When I gave up

You came along

You told me how I changed your life

I heard a crush in my heart

When everything to do with you haunts me all at once, all of the time

What will I do with these memories you left behind?

I. Discord

Someone I trust

Someone I love

I never thought I could find one

But I found you

Or is it that you found me?

I want to believe we were meant to be

And you don’t have to sing a melody

I will write you one with what you said to me

I could hear you endlessly

Text me when I’m up

I can never have enough

And when you go to bed

I’ll see you tomorrow again

The sun is setting and it’s rising

You’re only by my side in passing

I’ll go to bed

And see you tomorrow again

II. Waterhole

I was walking by the river

While I was thinking about your voice

And in the night sky, the skyscrapers shine beautifully

Like they are stars

And it was raining when I came out of the station

I was sprinting to my home

I heard a ping in my phone

And beneath glowing stars

I stopped to call you

You said, “Good morning”

You said you wanted to touch

You said you wanted to touch me

You said you wanted to touch

You said you wanted to touch me

Through the screen

III. The Answer

You hear my music like it changed your life

You know me from a hundred songs

But I only know you as you

I’m in love with you

Are you in love with me, or the one you made?

There’s a hundred different me’s and only one of you

Can you find the one I am?

Will you know which one is true?

I guess I’m never logging off

Don’t say goodbye

If you’re gonna say you love me

Then tell me why

And don’t lie

Oh, I don’t wanna let this go

Don’t say goodbye

Don’t let this thing ever end

Don’t let it die

IV. Avocado

What if I was the muse; and you, the writer?

Change the roles, I want you to make a story for me

You’re the only artist who can write my poem

Same place, same time

Isn’t that a miracle

Can’t believe I found her, out of all people

Goddamnit, there will never be another one, huh?

Never wanna have to find another love, then

Same you, same me

Gonna love you even when I’m hurt

I am never gonna go home

Never wanna be alone

Write a song

Say the words and I will put it in a melody

Never go

Never say goodbye

“We should talk more often”

V. Cecily

Can you be my boyfriend or my girlfriend?

I’ll give you time to think about it

Could I be your boyfriend or your girlfriend?

I need some time to think about it

...Can I be your girlfriend?

...Can I be your...

When I first met you, I was terrified of knowing you

Knew this was a bad plan

Should have kept you as a fan

But as the days went by

Everything got closer

Closer, closer

Come closer, closer

Breathe

Stop my time

Let’s stay like this forever

You can say whatever you want

Can I ever get you out of my mind?

Are you ever gonna leave me behind?

Cause I never wanna see the signs

Not when you are always saying that it’s fine

Avocado, can I make you mine?

I am waiting until you come online

Everything is looking good this time

But for me I know that things are never fine

I can't turn you into music

You are art personified

And every attempt is inconclusive

Your life is reality deified

“If music is life, then you’re a god”

Then God’s everything, it’s everything

It’s it/Id and you and me

You can paint me in pixels

Art is orange and pink, everything is one

Turn me into one of these shapes

And teach me how to write your life

How can anyone not make art after meeting you?

You're green and red, colours shaping into every hue

I tried to love better

Undo my story

Now you’re up

Everything that meant something to you was me writing a path onto meeting you

Write a signal

It was meant to be reached

TLD, make a god

You priestess

I wish that you were here to watch me write this song

Oh my god,

I wish that I never have to let you go!

Tully, will you get out of my life?

Will you let me know if you're still alive?

Cause I'm never gonna be your wife

Every day, at the climax of the night

"You're somebody who has touched my life

Renns, that won't change as long as we're alive"

What you said will never leave my mind

You have painted my life and I'm petrified

I'm a goddamn catastrophe

I fuck up everything around me

Cause I'm jealous

Yeah, I'm selfish

So what did you fucking expect from me

Darling, this is all there is

And I'm always terrified

That you’re leaving me behind

Insecurity is eating me alive

And I know it’s just a lie

When you act like it’s all fine

Now I'm leaving home

Never say goodbye

Think about a future you and me could try

I never wanna be alone

All the memories

This will leave behind

Summer's come and by

Just another lie they’ll find

Will you please just listen to me talk

I’m singing a song

I can’t deny

I’m acting a little obsessive

That doesn’t mean you can treat me like I’m fucking toxic

I know I’m fucking up

You think I haven’t thought about it before?

I’m just tired of being treated like my way of loving is wrong

And I'm always terrified

That you’re leaving me behind

Insecurity is eating me alive

And I know it’s just a lie

When you act like it’s all fine

Throw it all away

Memory of those days

Can’t even remember how you used to say

(Humming)

That’s it, Cecily

Nothing to amend

Summer isn’t over

Just you in the end

It’s just the end of my weekend

AND YOU’RE NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN!!!!!!

Friend,

We have been talking so much lately

It’s to the point

I get concerned if you are right for me

Friend,

This past month has been so lonely

We make each other so much worse

That it seems you’ll be better off without me

Because she’s the one that’s meant for you

I’m so envious of you two

All these moments that we spent

I hope they meant something

And yeah

We hurt each other

And that’s fine

So I don’t regret anything

Though I wish I had told you one last thing

One thing that I couldn't say

I’m sorry

Friend,

You have given so much to me

It’s so daunting

Cause it’s so much more than I deserve

Friend,

I hope you’ll miss me when I’m gone

I tried my best to be good for you

But we will never be good enough for each other

She’s the one that I’m in love with

But she’ll never look at me the way she looks at you

All these moments that we spent

I hope they meant something

And yeah

We hurt each other

And that’s fine

So I don’t regret anything

Though I wish I had told you one last thing

One thing that I couldn't say

I loved you

I stepped outside on a sunny day

I knew this was the end

And I realized:

Everything just kept going

Even without you around

It was the same sky, the same sun

Night came and it was the same stars, same moon

Every day of the week went by

And before I knew

It was Sunday

ねぇ、いつまでも空はこんなにきれいなのかな

ねぇ、いつまでも風はこんなに透明なのかな

ねぇ、いつまでも春の次は夏なのかな

最悪な日曜日

(Hey, I wonder if the sky will always be this pretty)

(Hey, I wonder if the wind will always be this clear)

(Hey, I wonder if summer will always come after spring)

(This is the worst Sunday)

And I know what you’re thinking

You touched my life in so many ways

And yet, you were in it for so little of it

If there was a me without you for 20 years

That can be another 20 years, I guess

This is the worst Sunday

And I didn’t need you to fix me

And I didn’t need you to be there all the time

And I didn’t need you to love me

And I didn’t need you to hate me

I just wanted you to think about me

I just wanted to be in your life

I wanted to hold you and not let you go and cry out

That I’m sorry

That I love you

That I loved you!

THAT I LOVED YOU!!!

So the summer never comes here

So the summer never comes here

So the summer never comes here

So the summer never comes here

So the summer never comes here

So the summer never comes here

And my weekend’s gonna end here

I'm trying to do my best to keep this up

Every day, I'm scared that you will say this is enough

Cause I know no one falls for who I am

All I can do is write a fucking song

It’s the only reason anyone’s ever been mistaken that they love me

That you love me

I’M THE WORST KIND OF PERSON!

I AM FUCKED IN THE HEAD

AND YOU’RE GONNA LEAVE ME SOON ANYWAY

I’M THE WORST KIND OF PERSON!

I’LL MESS UP IN THE END

AND I’M NEVER GONNA SEE YOU AGAIN!

Do you wanna call with me?

Do you wanna spend some time with me?

But you have some other plans

So I cry while you’re talking to your friends

Every time I see you I’m just making you sad, yeah

I know! I’m sorry! I know! I’m sorry!

I should be better and I know that you’re mad, yeah

I’m jealous! I’m selfish! I’m jealous! I’m selfish!

I just wanna trust you but I’m always insecure

So I lie and I lie and I lie and I lie!

Maybe you should leave me and just get it over with

But I’ll miss you and I’ll miss you and I’ll miss you and I’ll miss you!

Because when I’m unhappy

I feel like I can’t trust me

Every day I spend with you

I feel like I am dreaming

Like it’s a lie

I’M THE WORST KIND OF PERSON!

I AM FUCKED IN THE HEAD

AND YOU’RE GONNA LEAVE ME SOON ANYWAY

I’M THE WORST KIND OF PERSON!

I’LL MESS UP IN THE END

AND I’M NEVER GONNA SEE YOU AGAIN!

Whisper in my ear

Stand still and stay here

Cause yesterday was the worst day for the both of us

But today

I swear I’ll make things better

I saw a streetlight but it went out of sight

I came to see the stars

But I can’t see a damn thing

It’s not like Seoul’s known for its stargazing

I wonder if you can see any in North Carolina

Or was it Florida?

I’m not sure

While I was standing by the overpass

I thought that might be the last time for us

Stop my time

Please never leave me behind

Summer weekend

I’m living it over and over again

How could it be like this

I never knew it would come to this

Some nights I spend

Driving as far away as I can

I don’t wanna miss you

Undo this story and start anew

But I’ll still miss you

I wanna go home

Don’t say it’s cause you’re bitter

Wasn’t it you who told that lie

You made me a Ship of Theseus

I tried so hard to be your match

Cause it’s you I tried to changed for

I told myself I was selfish

But it was you who never compromised

As I slowly lost myself

You, love, will surely be the death of me

Death of me

And you won’t ever see me again

Your love and lies are all that’s left of me

Left of me

And as I orchestrate my end

It’s your voice in the end

Go ahead and sing my elegy

Your poems will be the death of me

I’m never gonna be the person you want me to be

There’s a hundred different me’s out there

I don’t even know which one you want

What should I do to make you fall in love with who I am?

My love and greed will be the death of me

Death of me

I’m fucked cause I hate saying goodbye

Leave me and go on instead of me

Instead of me

Maybe I can let go before I die

I’m so scared at what’s ahead of me

Ahead of me

Cause I’m so broken at my core

When I’m dead, what will be said of me?

Be said of me

I wonder if you’ll even remember what happened before?

There's a folder of pictures

Of your art that you showed me

And a list that you made

Of the albums that inspire you

And now they say last opened: 5 months ago

So then how did the time fly

How did I live a life without you

Bridgette said that I don't know how to be a lover

I was sorting this out when you came along

And now how could I ever trust anyone again?

When I'm constantly doubting when they say that they love me

Cydelia said I'm hurt but not a bad person

But it's hard to believe when I never stop crying

Not everyone makes their trauma someone else's problem

Bridgette tells me I'm fine and says this to me

“Cecilia, you are a bunny

But you don't have to be terrified

Cause everyone says that they aren't afraid

But really, they're too scared to admit it

Cecilia, you are a bunny

You don't know yourself as much as you think you do

Cause you're cuter when you don't try to hide the fear

So why don't you show me more of that”

Will it matter

When it’s all gone and passed by?

When I’m done writing this album

Could I get you out of my mind?

Will I move on

Could we talk like things were normal

Tully, I don’t know

If you still would believe in me now

"

how do i put this

people see hate and love as

opposite sides of the same axis

but they're separate emotions towards a person

I don't have to not hate you sometimes to love you as a friend

I am somebody who has really big emotions I don't know how to handle and nobody else knows how to handle but at the end of it all I love you and everyone else no matter how stupid or confused I am

but you're a friend and i don't want to lose you even if

anything

i dont want to lose you

i might need to be left alone sometimes

but

i dont know how to think about myself without thinking about how i affect other people. not at all

and with us together i dont know how to be my own person

and so i get confused and mad because i like, i know that something is preventing me from being my own person

but it was never you

and im sorry

"

Can you be my girlfriend, and me, your girlfriend?

I’ll give you time to think about it

Could I be your girlfriend, and you, my girlfriend?

I need some time to think about it

I’ll give you time to think about it

I need some time to think about it

It's fucked up that nothing really changes

Half a year ago, I couldn’t think of a life without you

Now I barely even think about this

Writing songs about heartbreak

Making lots of new friends

I’ve been doing a pretty good job getting over it

But that time with you still feels so long

It’s making me realize

I never needed you

But I still believed in you

I know I fucked up

You fucked up too

But despite all of that

You still believe in me

I never wanna hurt you

I never wanna hurt you

Oh God, you still believe in me

The first month

I was fucking miserable

In the second month I found new love

By the third, I got over you

In the fourth I talked to you again

In the fifth you even laughed with me

It’s the sixth

This album’s almost done

And I can’t fucking wait to let go of you

And I’ve been trying again and again

I don’t even think about you

So why am I even writing this?

Cause you fucked me up so much

That I’m never gonna be the same again

I can’t trust people when they say they love me

Cause who you were in love with was John

Not Cecily

And now

There is no idol

Just one girl

And this summer’s been fucking hell

I’M

FUCKING

TIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the summer’s gonna end here

And the summer’s gonna end here

And the summer’s gonna end here

And my weekend’s gonna end here

I wanna cry