MIDI Bunny EP

It's like looking at the bottom of an endless pit

You can start to see your reflection in the emptiness

Just a couple seconds more

You're the one that I fell for

A breath takes away my voice

And I can't tell you how I feel

Life is just a series of one trauma after one

You get over one, then another creeps in like a gun

I don't care then anymore

I don't want fear to take away my love for you

Darling, why can't we just try and figure out the next?

I was searching for your face in the moonlight

Don't even know your name

I was trying to listen to your voice

And you're so far away from me today

When I wake up, you are never there

Love, I miss you so much

Please don't leave me alone

I don't need you to save me

I don't need you to love me

I just need you to hold my hands and tell me it'll be be alright

I just need to get away from this place

I just need to go somewhere far away

Dear

Will you follow till the end of it all?

I always fall down

I get back up again

Get back up again

I'm falling in love again

It's you

And who's to say this time it's true?

I haven't even learned to be normal again

How could I love again?

I need to let go of my past

These things keep haunting me

And you're a different person

So why am I scared?

I guess I'm never coming back!

Try to remind myself

Everything's constant

Nobody ever really knows you

How close am I?

(I KNOW DAMN WELL)

I'm not so strong...

(WHO SAID SO)

I fell for the lies

Love is but a gift

THAT I KNOW ALL TOO WELL!

at least i hope..

Tear it apart

This bond I'll break down

I feel so much different, suddenly

You are all envy

I wrote too many songs about you

I threw it away

There's nothing I could do

Lights come into view

Home's not too far

And it might leave a scar

But I'll be waiting for you

Forever always

and now all the lights are coming down

my stupid head is in a cloud

and i dont feel right at all in this crowd

I think it’s time for

you and I to leave

cus we got the time to fuck this scene

and I don’t want you to be scared

i always thought of us as more like soldiers in the same army,

or maybe just kids, falling asleep in class

passing notes in detention.

or maybe walter becker and donald fagen,

like when you die i’ll stumble onto stage

looking like I just got out of bed fully dressed,

slouch into my seat in front of my piano,

launch into Deacon Blues,

drink scotch whisky all night long

and die behind the wheel.

Change this form

Change who I am

or at least wave hello

Halo

Tear me down

Make me something new

Cause it’s not good enough

This love

I don’t want to be the same

I don’t want to play the game

I want to become the worst kind of person

(when i can’t say anything rational at all)

And you’re just the one I need to try

Someone so fucked up it makes me cry

Put me under binding magic

Captured in your spell

(I want to fall in love with someone who could kill me)

you can turn me into such a mess

taken with the things we all call blessed

turn me into something

fragile, darling!

and all the things they make me say

are comin down like tarot cards

Please don't tell me that again

Not again

I can't handle it anymore

And when you say, "We gotta talk"

It's like her all over again

We are shaped by our past traumas

But not defined by them

So I know this time

I won't let you go

Not again

Broken glass and coffee cups

Reflected surfaces in the mirror

When I see my face, I just see you

You again

Broken hearts, abused boundaries

I know it makes you anxious

For me, it's envy

We can be better than our past selves

Let's be fucked up girls together

WHEN I

SAW YOU

I THOUGHT

“SHE’S A LITTLE FUCKED”

BUT I WAS

TOO SCARED

TO TELL YOU

THAT’S SO FUCKING HOT

I KNOW

I’M WEAK

I’M DUMB

I’M A COWARD

AND I’M SCARED THAT I AM FALLING FOR YOU SO FAST

SO I PROMISE YOU

I WILL KEEP YOU SAFE

I was sitting at the edge of a cliff

A wind blew by and I lost momentum

And as I fell

I thought about all the people who I couldn't tell

"I love you"

And I started thinking about the people who I haven’t thanked yet

Everyone who has supported me

Everyone who’s been there for me

Everyone who has ever loved me

I wanted to tell Bridgette that her music’s worth making

I wanted to tell Cherry that she will find better love

I wanted to tell June I’m sorry for not being there

I wanted to tell all of you I wish I could have stayed

Slowly

Slowly

Slowly I am sinking into a void

Slowly

Slowly I’ll be gone

And nobody will remember my name

Breaking down

Moonlight shines bright

Body found

Will they even know?

Will they bury me as the right gender?

Will they say my deadname at my funeral?

Will they say,

“Oh, Cecily, you had such a bright future ahead of you

But you were too fucked up and selfish to care!”

Sometimes, I wonder about what will happen after I die. I think about people's reactions. I wonder if they will take it well or not. I wonder if they expected it. I wonder if they'll go, "sad but saw it coming." I think about how they'll remember me. Will they remember me as who I am? What will be remembered of [REDACTED]? How will people in the future think of my art, knowing the artist is dead? Will more people care about them in death than in life? Maybe I will simply go completely silent, my lovers and friends never knowing the full truth. Maybe people will say, “good riddance.” Maybe they will be glad to know I’m gone. Maybe the people who I’ve hurt in the past will sigh in relief. Because if you add up all the pain I’ve caused in others, you will want to have me dead as well. I want to inflict pain on others so that they feel something ugly or beautiful. If that means hurting others, that’s what I would do. Can I ever hope to dictate how I will be remembered after death? I hope they remember me. I hope they care. I hope I’m loved. I hope I’m hated. I hope I meant something. And I step away from the edge and regain momentum. The wind blows by and I think to myself. I don’t wanna die!

Will you be my Pop Punk Girlfriend

Don’t leave me alone

Will you see me for who I am

Don't see me as someone else

Don't love anyone but yourself

It’s not about who we were

But who we are right now

Cause you are good the way you are

Yeah, you are

That abuser that you once had will die

And we’ll still be here

I can promise you can be yourself

I don't wanna lose you, friend

I'm sure it'll work out in the end

Will you please be my Pop Punk Girlfriend

Only if you want to

androgyny, well cant you see

i talk so soft and stupidly

thought i was dead, asleep instead

no one to talk to even then

there are these thoughts, come up a lot

too much to say here in a song

put me in skirts, say i'm the worst

i hope it's just your way to flirt

its just routine

im just scared

ill hide in your backyard

i'll just sleep there

i dont know what you mean

i dont care

ill hide in your backyard

follow me there

when we were young i played the Drums

I think I thought about you some

well it was fly, but I wonder why

we're just sat here with our Bud Lights

if you're a little drunk then I'm a lot drunk

and I'm a stupid drunk, and I get sad when I'm drunk

scared to be hurt, your pretty thing in a skirt

i hope it's just your way to flirt

its just routine

im just scared

ill hide in your backyard

i'll just sleep there

i dont know what you mean

i dont care

ill hide in your backyard

follow me there

i had dreams of altered forms

solitary as a storm

from that youth came you

telepathic truths

in midwinter, stowed away, away, away

but I love

and love

calmness in my synthetic

borders somnocentesis phonecall

to you

help, my mind is wandering

cigarettes and softer things

i don’t talk much, words are cheap

i just wish you’d corner me.

when i say, “go home,”

what i mean’s “don’t go.”

words run dry, but i cant leave, cant leave, cant leave

I love you

I die

calmness in my synthetic

borders somnocentesis phonecall

to you

help, my mind is wandering

cigarettes and softer things

TALK TO ME!!!!

TALK TO ME!!!!

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